Don’t Let Your Childhood Fears Continue to Boss Your Adult Self Around!

Lessons From a Formerly Fragile Kid Who Grew Up (Sort Of)

Photo by Sikandar Ali on Unsplash

Hernia surgery at 15 months old!

Yes, I had been born with a hernia. My parents suspected something was wrong when I started walking with a limp. A doctor confirmed it and scheduled surgery.

Before the operation, he warned my parents that being in an operating room at such a young age, under all those bright lights might make me a nervous child.

Lights? Please. The lights were the least of my worries. Try strangers coming at me in masks with needles, and knives!

That experience, and my mother’s helicopter-level protection afterward, set the stage for a childhood full of fears. Not just of pain or hospitals, but everything and everyone.

My parents didn’t have to worry about me talking to strangers. I didn’t speak to anyone. I was as afraid of people as a snowflake is of a blowtorch.

Unfortunately my fears didn’t stop there. I was fearful of the people I could see, but I was even more terrified of three people I couldn’t see.

Childhood imagination is powerful but not always kind. In my life there were times when make-believe felt more frightening than fun.

The Tooth Fairy

My parents taught me about the Tooth Fairy when I was very young. Lose a tooth, put it under your pillow, and sometime during the night, a magical lady sneaks into your room, takes the tooth, and leaves money.

They never explained why she wanted my teeth. What kind of person trades cash for body parts? And why were my parents okay with someone creeping into our house, into my bedroom, while I slept? (Are these guys even my real parents? D@ng man!)

When I lost a tooth, there was no way I was putting it under my pillow and risking a midnight visit. If she had woken me up by sliding her hand under my pillow, I would’ve gone into shock. At my age, money wasn’t that important anyway!

So I had my dad put the tooth under his pillow. If the Tooth Fairy scared him during the night, that was his problem. The next day, he’d hand me whatever she left (after keeping a small percentage for his trouble).

If the Tooth Fairy gave me nightmares, Santa Clause was a full-blown horror movie.

Santa Claus

At least the Tooth Fairy only wanted one tooth. Santa wanted to break into my house, eat my food, and watch me while I slept. (Someone call the FBI!)

My parents once took me to a store in Asheville, North Carolina to see Santa. When we walked in, I wanted nothing more than to crawl up in his lap and tell him my Christmas list. The only problem? I was terrified of him.

There was Santa Claus: the all-seeing, all-knowing judge of naughty and nice. The man who could deliver gifts to every kid on the planet in one night. The boss of an entire workforce of elves at the North Pole. He was a big deal… and he was also big.

I asked my parents if they would give Santa my Christmas list. I thought they would just mail him a letter, but imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw Dad sitting on Santa’s knee!

That Christmas, I didn’t get what I wanted. But Dad? He scored a new bass boat, fancy fishing gear, and a shiny pickup truck.

For the next few years, he was very eager to “pass my requests on to Santa.” Eventually, I decided to deliver the list myself. Funny thing: my gifts got a whole lot better after that.

Santa only checked his list twice. But Jesus… He knew everything about me, all the time. Naughty or nice? He didn’t need a list. I was taught that He had the original internal (human heart) surveillance system.

Jesus

One Christmas, my first-grade Sunday school class planned a birthday party for Jesus. I thought it was a great idea, except I didn’t want to go because I honestly believed He would show up in person.

I’d heard sermons and Bible stories about Him, but what gift does a nine-year-old give Jesus? If He walked everywhere, He was probably in great shape. He didn’t need any exercise equipment so a ThighMaster was out of the question.

Clothes? I didn’t know His size. All the pictures showed Him wearing what looked like bedsheets. I considered giving Him mine, but Mom would’ve killed me.

And who would take Jesus seriously walking around in Evel Knievel bedsheets? Would He really want “Evel” printed across His outfit, even if it was spelled differently?

In the end, I was too scared to attend His party. I just hoped skipping it didn’t make Him mad. I’d heard He was forgiving, so I figured I’d be okay.

Adulting

These events may have been slightly embellished, but the gist is true. I was an emotionally fragile and fearful kid.

I did eventually grow up… at least physically.

If you’re carrying baggage from your formative years, I hope this gives you some encouragement. You’re not alone. I may be more messed up than you, so hang in there.

Here’s the good news. Try these three things.

1. Reframe the Story You Tell Yourself

Your past is a chapter, not the whole book. Instead of saying, “I’m broken because of what happened,” try, “I learned resilience through what happened.” Changing the narrative shifts your identity from victim to overcomer.

For example, I used to be terrified of people. Today, I’ll talk to anyone, anywhere. I actually feel energized by meeting new people.

2. Focus on What You Can Control Today

The past is fixed, but today is flexible. Ask yourself: “What’s one small decision I can make right now that moves me toward the person I want to be?” Consistent small choices rewrite your future.

When I left for college, I didn’t know a soul. I decided to come out of my shell and start talking to people. To my surprise, most were just like me—looking for friends. Sure, there were a few bad apples, but far more good connections waiting to happen.

3. Surround Yourself with Voices That Speak Life

Your environment matters. Spend time with people who see your potential, not just your history. Positive relationships help you build a new identity and reinforce growth.

Many of those people I built strong relationships with in college became my life-long friends. I ended up marrying one of them! Find a community that will encourage you and even challenge you to continue growing.

Your past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define you. Every day is a chance to write a new chapter: one decision, one conversation, one connection at a time.

If you’re ready to keep moving forward with practical wisdom and a little humor along the way, I’d love to walk that journey with you.

Turn Your Past Into Progress

Life is simple, but living can be challenging. If you want honest stories, practical tips, and a touch of humor to help you make better decisions and live intentionally, subscribe to my newsletter: Disgustingly Simple Life Advice.

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