Facing the Unavoidable

Two strategies for processing our mortality

Image by Manfred Antranias Zimmer from Pixabay

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 
Psalm 90:12, New Living Translation

When it comes to days or wisdom, according to one of my doctors, I do not have much of either.

My doctor walks into the exam room carrying a paper tape measure. He says, "How old are you?" "54," I say. He tears off everything below 54", says, "That's all in the past," and throws it away.

He says, "The average life expectancy in our county is 74 (Davidson County), and he tears off everything after 74". "That's eternity," as he tosses that portion in the trash can.

He hands me this piece of tape measure with 20 inches on it (from 54" — 74"). He says, "Each inch represents a year of your life. What are you going to do with the rest of it?" Dang. (For the record, I live in a different county with an average of six more years! But, this experience happened four years ago.) I named it my Life Tape!

Depression

One way to process our mortality is to get very depressed. If the statistics hold, I have 20–28 years left. When some individuals realize their lives are half over and many dreams may not happen, they can experience a midlife crisis.

I am 72% through my life. I've always struggled with math, but 72% seems much worse than 50%! Oh, then I remember that I have heart disease, so all bets are off on that expectancy!

I have this Life Tape attached to the bottom of my computer monitor, so I see it daily while working. My wife worries that my consistent acknowledgment of this tape is me "fixating" on this statistic in an unhealthy way.

I honestly don't see it and get depressed. I see it and am disappointed in the way I've chosen to spend much of my adult life. Several wasted opportunities saddened me. I regret how often I've allowed the fear of failure to stop me from trying things I might have enjoyed.

I have grieved in the past over many of these decisions. Unfortunately, there is no value in wishing I could go back and have a redo. You might say, "Well, you should learn from those mistakes so you won't repeat them." 

I have overprocessed the heck out of those decisions. I struggle with overthinking, which is not healthy. According to Stephanie Anderson Witmer in GoodRx Health,

"Overthinking is when your thoughts and worries circle in an endless loop. Instead of preparing you for next steps, overthinking usually leads to inaction because it causes you to become overwhelmed by fear."

I can identify with the endless loop and the inaction and fear that comes from overthinking. I am a work in progress striving to end this vicious and hazardous process. 

Motivation

There is a better way to process our mortality. This way of processing is the reason the doctor gave me this Life Tape in the first place. His goal was to motivate me to continue improving myself, which is the healthy way to process this information.

Besides being cool and a little morbid, this website indicates how many weeks individuals have left to live to motivate them to action. There's nothing quite like contemplating the finiteness of life to help you stop procrastinating.

If there was ever a procrastinator, it's me! While I have lofty goals and big dreams, there is a significant disconnect between dreaming and doing. It does not take a rocket scientist to realize that (without the doing), our ambitions have a meager (if not impossible) chance of happening.

The most important part of dreaming is doing. It's like the Jerry Seinfeld bit on taking and holding the reservations.

Jerry has a reservation with a rental car place, and when he arrives, he discovers they've run out of cars.

You see, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them. — Jerry Seinfeld

I've never been as old as I am now. I'm not as physically healthy or fit as I used to be. To strive to extend my life as long as possible, I have the choice to eat healthier and take better care of myself.

I have the choice to make better use of the time I have left. I can choose to lay around and binge Netflix, or I can choose to use that time to work toward my goals and dreams. Sure, sometimes I need to relax with Netflix, but not all the time.

Even at my age, I can be encouraged by each completed task that gets me one step closer to each goal. As a heart patient, I can strive to experience the joy of the journey! I do not know if any of my dreams or items on my bucket list will ever happen, but it won't be because of my lack of trying.

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog — it's here a little while, then it's gone. James 4:14 New Living Translation

We have no promise of tomorrow. Even if tomorrow comes, we have no idea what will happen tomorrow. So, the reviews are still out on all of our futures! As for me, I'm looking forward to the rest of my life. I want to make it the best it can be!

How about you?