Go Find Your People

You need a place where you are welcomed, known, and not alone.

Image supplied by the author. (Pictured: Selfie with a “regular” team at the 21+ bar)

“That’s BULL$#1T!”

It’s a phrase yelled at me twice a week. I host two trivia shows at a local bar that serves patrons 21 and older. It’s noisy, unfiltered, full of wildly inappropriate team names, and just chaotic enough to feel like home.

But every once in a while, something happens that cuts through the noise.

One night after a show, as I moved from table to table collecting pens and visiting with each team, the woman of a husband-and-wife team asked me, “Do you know my story?”

I didn’t. But what she shared reminded me of something bigger than the game, something I’ve watched unfold for four years: people finding connection in the most ordinary corners of their lives.

We were made for community. And sometimes we find it in places we never would have expected.

1. Community Can Be Found in Unexpected Places

Every Wednesday and Thursday night, I sit behind a microphone surrounded by the smell of delicious hot wings, the clatter of pint glasses, and team names that would get me fired anywhere else.

My job is simple: read questions, play music, keep the game moving. But somewhere between the jokes, the heckling, and the ritual of picking up pens and visiting with each team after the show, something bigger has happened.

These people have become my people.

For four years now, I’ve watched people walk through the door: engineers, teachers, retirees, bartenders, blue-collar, white-collar, and “I-don’t-think-they-own-a-collar,” people.

Politically, spiritually, and culturally, we’re all over the map. In any other setting, half of us would avoid the other half. But on trivia night, none of that matters.

We’re just humans sharing the same space, the same music, the same collective groan when someone yells, “That’s BULL$#1T!” after I reveal an answer they were absolutely sure was wrong.

There’s an honesty in a bar that doesn’t exist in most of life. The team names, the banter, and the laughter are all part of a weekly rhythm that has somehow become sacred.

From the outside, it appears to be a simple game. But inside that one hour and fifteen minutes, strangers become acquaintances, and acquaintances become friends.

In a world where we divide ourselves by everything from beliefs to newsfeeds, trivia night is one of the few places where people keep showing up to the same table simply to be together.

Every time I move through that room, passing out answer sheets or collecting pens, I’m reminded that community is usually found where we least expect it. Sometimes it’s waiting in the corner of a noisy bar on a random weeknight.

2. Small Gestures Can Make a Big Difference

One night after a show, while I was making my usual rounds collecting pens and chatting with teams, the woman from the quiet husband and wife duo looked up at me and asked, “Do you know my story?”

I didn’t, and the question caught me off guard. You do not expect something heavy to land in the middle of a bar.

I told her no and tried to stay calm while my mind ran through a dozen possibilities. Then I stopped overthinking and just listened.

She took a breath. “The first time we came here was the day we dropped our son off at college. I was a wreck. I told my husband I needed a drink, and we ended up here.”

As soon as she said it, the memory came back. I had walked over that night and asked if they wanted to play. I never assume people want to participate because I hate having things pushed onto me. So I always ask.

She continued. “We were sitting there trying to adjust to the quiet that comes after raising a kid. You asked if we wanted to play, and we thought, why not. I was missing my son so much.

But we played that night and had the best time. It was the first time all day I wasn’t thinking about him leaving.”

Then she said the line I will carry with me for a long time.

“For the next six weeks, we came back every Thursday. Trivia was my therapy. You asking us to play that first night helped more than you know.”

I stood there holding a handful of pens, realizing that something small to me had landed at just the right moment for her.

A simple invitation. A brief connection. A little reminder that she was not alone while navigating a major life transition.

They kept coming back. They became part of the community. And now I see them every week, not as strangers but as people whose story now overlaps with mine.

It reminded me that we almost never know how much a small gesture can matter.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is simply ask someone if they want to be part of something.

3. Community Creates Space for Healing, Joy, and Connection

By now, most people who come to trivia each week know something important:
it is never just about the game.

The questions are fun, the competition is lively, and winning a gift card never hurts. But none of that is what keeps people showing up. What brings them back is the feeling of belonging.

It is the comfort of a familiar table, the laughter that breaks up a long day, and the simple joy of being around people who remember your name.

I have watched players walk in carrying all kinds of weight. Some are navigating big life transitions. Some have had a long week. Some are holding quiet heartbreaks that no one else notices.

And again and again, I have seen trivia night become a small anchor. A routine that restores a bit of normalcy. A short break from the noise. An hour and fifteen minutes where life feels lighter.

What I did not expect when I first started hosting is this:
I am not just running a game. I am creating space.

A space where people feel seen.
A space where connection happens naturally.
A space where strangers sit together long enough to become something more.

Trivia might look like pure fun from the outside, and yes, it is fun. But for many people, it becomes something deeper.

It becomes a weekly reminder that joy often comes from the simplest moments shared with people who, not long ago, were complete strangers.

Your Invitation

We were never meant to live life alone. Each of us needs a place where we feel known, where someone is glad we showed up, and where the small moments of life are shared with people who care.

Maybe trivia has already become that space for you. Maybe it has added a little laughter, comfort, or community to your week. If it has, I would love to hear your story. Share it in a reply to this newsletter.

And if trivia is not your place, that is perfectly fine.
Find the corner of the world that fills you up.
Find the people who make you feel welcome.
Find the community that reminds you that you are not walking through life alone.

It might be a book club, a church, a gym class, a volunteer group, or a random hobby you decide to try. What matters is not the setting.

What matters is that you allow yourself to show up and be part of something.

So here is your invitation:
Take the next step toward connection.
Find your people.
Let them find you, too.

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