Graduation, Grace, and the Gift of Perspective

What seemed like a disaster in 1983 is now a reminder that imperfection is part of the journey.

My high school senior photo — refreshed with a little Canva magic.

I gave myself one job to do.

I blew it.

I was so angry at myself.

What is wrong with me?

We sat anxiously in the Asheville Civic Center, the air thick with anticipation. It was graduation day, 1983. My two best friends and I had already been on stage, performing Seals & Crofts’ 1973 hit “We May Never Pass This Way Again.”

Our nerves held steady, even as classmates wiped away tears.

The moment should have felt big, final, even.

Then came the class president’s speech. He paused twice, appearing to choke up. I choked up with him. Later, I learned those pauses were rehearsed, a performance. “D@mn him!” I was annoyed, but I had to admit: it worked.

I sat in the “H” section, watching one classmate after another cross the stage. Several snagged their gown sleeves on the stair rail as they exited. I told myself, “Don’t be that guy.”

I even rehearsed it in my head: Take two steps before grabbing the rail. That’ll keep the sleeve clear.

The “Gs” finished up, and the “Hs” made their way to the side of the stage. My heart pounded. I wasn’t taking blood pressure medicine back then, so that wasn’t a huge concern of mine.

Pause For A Minute.

D@ng it, this is my High School graduation. It represents years of hard work, growth, and perseverance, while also marking the transition into adulthood, independence, and new opportunities. It’s not the most important thing in life, but it’s a big deal.

I had achieved this honor. I should have been focusing on that and celebrating with my classmates, but all I could think of was my graduation robe getting caught on a rail. Are you fre@k!ng kidding me? What was wrong with me?

Resume.

Then I heard it: “Michael Jay Hollifield.” (I listened to a few cheers in the large auditorium.) I wasn’t worried about tripping, passing out, or throwing up on my principal as he handed me my diploma.

I walked over to the stairs, grabbed the rail, took two steps, and realized my sleeve was caught.

D@MM1T!

I gave myself one job.

I yanked my arm back, freed the sleeve, and forced a smile. But inside, I was furious. I returned to my seat, silently berating myself. I had failed at the one thing I’d planned so carefully.

Now, many years later, I look back and ask: Why was I so hard on myself?

Maybe it was because my best friends seemed to have it all together, and I felt like a mess. Maybe it was the bullying I endured for not measuring up. Maybe it was a poor self-image, or the perfectionism I inherited from my parents. Maybe it was all of the above.

Here is what I have learned from that experience, and sometimes need to remind myself.

Perfection is a Mirage.

We often set impossible standards for ourselves, thinking one misstep defines us. It doesn’t. That snagged sleeve didn’t ruin my graduation - my mindset did.

The more I let go of the need to be perfect, the more I enjoy life. - Hugh Jackman

Perfectionism often creates unnecessary pressure, turning a joyful experience into a stressful one by focusing on the flaws instead of the progress.

When we release the need to be perfect, we open ourselves up to growth, creativity, and authentic connection with others.

Letting go of perfection allows us to be present in the moment, where true happiness and fulfillment are found.

Everyone Has a “Snag” Moment.

Whether it’s a speech stumble, a missed opportunity, or a literal wardrobe malfunction, we all have moments that don’t go as planned. They’re not failures, they’re part of being human.

I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games... I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

Failure is not the opposite of success - it’s the foundation of it, teaching resilience, humility, and the drive to improve.

Each missed shot or lost game became a lesson that sharpened Jordan’s skills and mental toughness, proving that growth comes through persistence.

By embracing failure as part of the journey, we free ourselves from the fear of imperfection and unlock our true potential.

Grace Is a Gift - Give It to Yourself.

If I could go back, I’d tell that 18-year-old kid to laugh it off. To enjoy the cheers. To celebrate the milestone, not the mistake.

We often extend compassion to others far more easily than we offer it to ourselves, forgetting that we, too, are worthy of kindness.

Self-grace allows us to move forward instead of staying stuck in regret, turning mistakes into stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.

When we treat ourselves with the same patience and understanding we’d give a friend, we create space for healing, growth, and joy.

Perspective Changes Everything.

What felt like a disaster then is now a funny, tender memory. Time has a way of softening the sharp edges of our self-judgment.

Distance allows us to see the bigger picture, not just the moment of embarrassment, but the courage it took to show up in the first place.

We should approach our experiences with compassion instead of criticism. Then we can discover wisdom, growth, and even gratitude in the very moments we might otherwise overlook or judge.

If you’re waiting to get it all right, you’ll miss all the good stuff.

We’ve all had that “one job” moment, so take heart. You’re not alone. And chances are, you can now look back on those moments and smile, too.

Be kind to yourself. Share your story, laugh at the missteps, and remind someone else that imperfection is part of the journey, not the end of it.