Is the Devil in the Details?
Three steps to take when you can’t see the forest for the trees.
What is an elephant?
You may be familiar with Rumi's famous Buddhist parable of The Blind Men and the Elephant. In it, blind men are brought to an elephant and positioned all around it.
When they were asked, “What is an elephant like?” Not being able to see or feel the whole elephant and not knowing what one was, they just communicated the one aspect they felt.
The one who touched the leg said, “a pillar,” and one who touched the end of the tail said, “a broom.” After everyone answered, they began arguing with one another. Their arguments were supported by the “perspective” each one had observed.
Rumi used the parable to communicate how our prejudices can blind us despite authentic information and a plethora of other lessons.
Well, at least my man didn’t score!
Using Rumi’s parable and “The Forest for the Trees” statement, we all look at projects, events, and life from our perspectives. Yes, we can get caught up in the details and fail to see the big picture.
Let’s say a basketball team plays man-to-man defense, and the opposing team’s point guard has the ball. He gets past his defender and drives to the basket.
The defensive person guarding the center on the baseline doesn’t leave his man to try to stop the point guard from scoring. While he might think he is playing incredible defense against the other team’s center and may even say, “Well, at least my man didn’t score!”
He is not seeing the big picture. The big picture is keeping the other team from scoring, not just the person you are defending!
What is the point?
In the Spring each year (before I hired out my yard work), it was hard to see my yard for the weeds before I cut my grass for the first time. You could see a little grass, but the weeds were more dominant than anything else.
I tended to view life this way. I usually saw weeds or negative aspects more than the big picture (the yard). I wanted to be a “glass-half-full” guy but was a “glass-half-empty” person.
When I was younger, I was like Cheryl Crow. I would say, “All I wanna do is have some fun.” But life sobered me up fairly quickly. So, even philosophically, I couldn’t see the yard for the weeds. If I was working on a particular project detail, I didn’t only get caught up in that detail. I allowed it to consume me until it was done.
What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with me?
I would not be able to focus on anything else until said detail was accomplished, and then I would move on to the next detail. Due to my “Yard for the Weeds” syndrome, I could not focus on the beauty of the big picture or even appreciate the overall work that got done.
When all the details were finished, I could enjoy and appreciate the finished product, but I was exhausted! Honestly, I didn’t even enjoy the accomplishment to the fullest because I knew it wouldn’t be long before the next project needed my attention.
What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with me?
If we were going on vacation, I did not allow myself to relax, even a little, until:
-We’ve packed for the trip…
-We’ve gotten to the airport…
-We’ve got our boarding passes…
-We’ve gotten through security…
-We’ve boarded the plane…
-We’ve taken off, and landed…
-We’ve gotten our luggage…
-We’re in transport to our destination…
-We’re checked in to our arriving destination...
-We’ve settled into our room. (Done. Relax.)
I realize that a tiring day at the airport or flying is better than a good day at work! I get it. It was just hard to tell my brain that. On the outside, I try to put on and keep a brave, cheerful, fun-loving face, but on the inside, a war is going on.
My family and close friends will tell you I am an overthinker. I overprocess most everything, and I’ve even overprocessed why I overprocess things.
Was there any hope for me?
I needed to work on my outlook on life. Annie told me, “The sun will come out tomorrow!” Bobby McFerrin told me, “Don’t worry, be happy!” Pharrell Williams just told me to clap along because he was happy!
Is it that easy to change our outlook? Yes, but not overnight. We have the power to decide how we view life and how we act or react when life happens.
My outlook changed through therapy and hours of work on myself. Over the past few years, I’ve returned to the “glass-half-full” kind of guy! I’ve had so much help along the way from my family, friends, and even acquaintances. Some of them will never know how much they’ve impacted my life.
I’ve also upgraded my meditational life. There is no one right way to do this, but my Pastor challenged me to start getting up at 5:00 AM every morning and do my meditation. My meditation comprises reading the Holy Bible, reflecting on what I read and how it applies to my life, and praying to God.
Try these three steps to improve your outlook.
Meditation
However you choose to meditate, there is scientific evidence that backs up the benefits:
While meditation is well known as a technique to reduce stress and anxiety, it may also help enhance your mood, promote healthy sleep patterns, and boost cognitive skills. (healthline dot com).
Dr. Andrea Brandt shares 6 Steps to Transform Your Outlook in Phychology dot com. She gives some great advice, but I want to share the two steps I most identified with.
Practice thought-stopping
The second we become aware we are thinking negatively and not necessarily factually, we stop processing those thoughts. If I catch myself overprocessing anything, especially to the point of being negative, I will stop and redirect myself. This takes time.
When you recognize that you are down and are wallowing in your self-pity, just put your hand up in front of your face and say, “Speak to the hand!” Tell yourself, “Is this wallowing doing you any good? (No?) Why don’t you work on identifying why you are feeling this way and then investigate what you can do to avoid it in the future?
End the “Yes, but…” attitude.
The other step is what she calls ending your “Yes, but…” attitude.
Admittedly, I had one of the most giant “Yes, buts…” of anyone! (I had such a big one I came in first place in the Regionals that year.) This is striving to avoid the “glass half empty” mentality. Look for the positives in things instead of only seeing the negatives.
The negatives build up pretty quickly. I got up late, couldn’t find anything to wear, and took longer than usual to feed the dogs, so I couldn’t start work when I wanted to. The list could go on for quite a while before we realize we’re sabotaging our attitude with negative thinking.
Even when things were going well, I still had the “Yes, buts…” “Did you get a raise this year at work?” “Yes, but it was only __%. I wished it had been more.” “You’re off next week, right?” “Yes, but I have so much on my to-do list I won’t be having much fun.”
I didn’t know how to accept a compliment for years. Someone would compliment me. I’d say, “Thanks, but…(insert here something I didn’t like about what I’d accomplished, or how I’d accomplished it.” Yes, I was big “Yes, but-head!”
This one only takes you omitting the “but” and anything else that you think needs to follow that word. I’m telling you to get your “buts” out of your sentences and don’t be a “Yes, but-head,” like I was!
Aside from therapy and the assistance of many people over the years, these are three practical ways I worked on myself to become more positive. Consistent meditation, practicing thought-stopping when my thoughts get negative, and ending my “Yes, but…” attitude helped me so much!
I challenge you to accept my 5:00 AM challenge. If that’s too early for you, make it a 6:00 AM or 7:00 AM challenge. It has to be early enough that you won’t be distracted by anything. I set two alarms for myself: a 4:55 AM alarm and a 5:00 AM alarm.
When the 4:55 alarm goes off, I want to sleep! But I tell myself, "What kind of sleep can I get for 5 minutes?" So 95% of the time, I go ahead and get up then.
We have the power to choose our outlook on life. If you struggle, as I did, try these three steps.
The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.— George Eliot