Metamorphosis Manifesto: Changing My Self-Perception in the New Year

Cultivating Positivity for an Optimistic Leap Through 2024

Photo by Wendy Wei

When someone "can't see the forest for the trees," they struggle to see the big picture of an issue because they get too caught up in the details. Forests contain trees, just like projects, events, or even life, consist of specifics. If someone is too infatuated with the details (trees), they can miss understanding the big picture.

You may be familiar with the Buddhist parable of The Blind Men and the Elephant, made famous by Rumi. Blind men were brought to an elephant and positioned all around it.

When they were asked, "What is an elephant like?" Not being able to see or feel the whole elephant and not knowing what one was, they just communicated the one aspect they felt.

The one who touched the leg said, "A pillar," and the one who felt the end of the tail said, "A broom." After everyone answered, they began arguing with one another. Each man's perspective supported their arguments.

Rumi used the parable to communicate how our prejudices can blind us despite having authentic information as well as many other lessons. Using the forest for the trees statement, we all look at projects, events, and life from our perspectives. Yes, we can get caught up in the details and need help seeing the big picture.

Let's say a basketball team plays man-to-man defense, and the opposing team's point guard has the ball. He gets past his defender and drives to the basket. The defensive person guarding the center on the baseline doesn't leave his man to try to stop the point guard from scoring.

While he might think he is playing incredible defense against the other team's center and may even say, "Well, at least my man didn't score!" He is not seeing the big picture. The big picture is keeping the other team from scoring, not just the person you are defending!

As a child, I was a glass-half-full kind of kid. I didn't want anyone to complain or be grumpy around me. I wanted everyone to be happy and fun-loving! Unfortunately, as life has beaten me up and given me some bruises, I am now more of a glass-half-empty adult. Only those who are closest to me get to see this from time to time.

Before my grass is cut for the first time each spring, it is hard to see my yard for the weeds. You can see a little grass, but the weeds are more dominant than anything else. I tend to view life this way. I usually see weeds or negative aspects more than the big picture (the yard).

I want to get back to the glass-half-full person I used to be. There have been brief periods in my life where, like Cheryl Crow, I could say, "All I wanna do is have some fun." But life sobers me up fairly quickly.

So even philosophically, I can't see the yard for the weeds. If I am working on a particular project detail, I will get caught up in that detail and allow it to consume me until it is complete. Only then can I move on to the following detail.

I cannot focus on the beauty of the big picture or even appreciate the work that is getting done due to viewing the "weeds" I'm currently trudging through. When all the details are finished, I can enjoy and appreciate the finished product.

If we are going on vacation, I do not allow myself to relax, even a little, until:

-We've packed for the trip.

-We've gotten to the airport.

-We've got our boarding passes.

-We've gotten through security.

-We've boarded the plane.

-We've taken off and landed.

-We've got our luggage.

-We're in transport to our destination.

-We're checked in to our arriving destination.

-We've settled into our room. (Done. Relax.)

What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with me?

I realize that a tiring day at the airport or flying is better than a good day at work! I get it. It is just hard to tell my brain that sometimes. On the outside, I try to put on and keep a brave, cheerful, fun-loving face, but a war is raging on the inside.

I need to work on my outlook on life. Annie would tell me, "The sun will come out tomorrow!" Bobby McFerrin would say, "Don't worry, be happy!" And Pharrell Williams would tell me to clap along and be happy!

We have the power to decide how we view life and how we act or react when life happens. Is it that easy to change our outlook? Yes, but not overnight.

Practice Daily Meditation

My outlook is much better when I have my daily meditation time. My meditation comprises reading the Holy Bible and praying with God. However you choose to meditate, scientific evidence backs up the benefits.

The more days I miss my meditation, the less positive my outlook is on life. The opposite is true as well. It is easier to acknowledge that my yard is a yard when I keep my grass (and weeds) cut.

Dr. Andrea Brandt shares 6 Steps to Transform Your Outlook. She gives some great advice, but I want to share the two steps I most identified with. The first one is to start practicing thought-stopping.

Practice Thought-Stopping

The second we become aware we are thinking negatively and not necessarily factual, we need to stop that processing. The second I know I am over-processing anything, especially to the point of being negative, I will choose to block and redirect myself.

During the redirection, if I've practiced my daily meditation, I can use whatever I gleaned from that meditation as ammunition to help me stop the negative thinking. I can replace the negative thinking with positive thoughts, like how loved I am by my family and how blessed I am!

The other step I want to gravitate toward is what she calls end your "Yes, but…" attitude.

Stop Your "Yes, Buts…"

Admittedly, I have one of the most giant "Yes, buts…" of anyone! I want to avoid the glass-half-empty mentality, so I'll look for the positives instead of only seeing the negatives.

The other day someone asked me how my job was going. I responded with "It's going fine…" and listed several negative aspects of my career.

My wife gave me "the look," telling me without saying a word, "Haven't we talked about this? Sure, you want to get paid more, yet you have a good job with great benefits and are very blessed!" I immediately took a breath and relayed that my job was going well, then communicated all the blessings I was experiencing by having my job.

Happy Optimistic New Year!

These are just three practical ways I can improve my positive outlook on life in 2024. I will have a consistent meditation time, practice thought-stopping when my thoughts get negative, and end my "Yes, but…" attitude.

We have the power to choose our outlook on life. If you struggle as I do, will you join me in this growth process?

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.— George Eliot