My 10-Year-Old Self Has Four Life Lessons for Me
You might need these reminders as well.
Children are typically unaware of the complexities of life and sometimes say things surprisingly wise or insightful. In 1975, I was ten years old, in the fourth grade. Life hadn't begun to beat me up, discourage my self-worth, and make me question if "happiness" was real.
We start out questioning everything, and there is a time when we feel like Jack on the bow of the Titanic. "I'm the king of the world!" We slowly start to feel the influence of older children and adults, which erodes our starry-eyed innocence.
Suddenly, you may find that your "I'm the king of the world" has turned into something like, "Life's a b!tc#, then you d1e!" My son found my 4th-grade writing journal as we were in the process of moving. I'm so grateful my mother saw fit to keep it (along with almost every other school assignment I ever had).
The story below is an original, unedited story. At first, you might think it has no plot or conclusion. You may read it as only the set-up. While I agree with you, on my second, third, and fourth read, my fourth-grade self gave me three life lessons I needed to remember. You might need to be reminded of these as well.
I was an overprotected only child. That’s not my parents’ fault. They did the best they could. In my lonelyonlychildness I turned to comic books and TV for solace. I was all in when I read a comic book or watched a show. I usually chose the main character to identify with, and I became that character.
What happened to him, happened to me. His emotions were my emotions. I must have written this story after watching a show where the hero was a spy and had some pretty cool gadgets.
I'm grateful to have lived in a safe home with parents who loved and protected me, but there were times when I needed more adventure. Unfortunately, this “daydream” never panned out. Not only did I never receive a motor-copter, I also never received a motorbike. My parents didn’t trust me with two wheels.
When one of my friends across the street got a motorbike, and his brother got a go-kart, my parents got me a go-kart. It was a good idea for me not to be on two wheels because I proved that I may not have been ready for four wheels. I wrecked it one afternoon when we were riding.
Once my parents found out I was okay (only a skinned ankle), they could be mad at me for turning a corner too fast! After that, I wasn't allowed on my "four wheels" for a while.
This silly 4th-grade story prompted me to look deeper into the mind of a silly 4th-grader to see why it was written. Here are four life lessons that came from the five-sentence daydream. They're good reminders for me and might also be good for you.
1. Hold on to Your Dreams
You may have a bucket list or some crazy, magical aspirations. Life can beat us down, make us feel stupid, and hold us back from doing what we want Write your bucket list down and put them where you can see them regularly.
You’ve heard of vision boards. Years ago, I combined a vision board and bucket list to create a bucket list screen saver for my computer.
I found pictures on the internet representing things I wanted (e.g., a car for my wife and a pickup truck for me), things I wanted to do (e.g., standup comedy, writing, paying off our indebtedness), and places I wanted to go (e.g., Hawaii, Cruises, Beaches).
I'm not sure my "motor-copter" story deserved the grade and comments given to me by our teacher. Yet, I'm grateful she encouraged her class to dream and dream big. Even though you may be an adult now, it doesn't mean you must give up on your dreams. You are also free create new ones.
2. Find Your Purpose
At ten years old, I'd watched enough movies with good guys and bad guys to know I wanted to be a good guy.
Before I met James Bond, 007, on television, I met Matt Helm (played by Dean Martin of all people). If you are familiar with Dean Martin, you know these movies were comedy spy-fi films. I also enjoyed watching James Coburn in comedic spy films as Derek Flint. Like 007, these guys put the bad guys away, and got the girl.
The day I wrote that story I wanted to be a detective and catch crooks. I wanted to do my part to make the world a better place.
Now that I’m much older, I still want to do what I can to improve the world. What are your strengths? Where are your passions? Use those gifts to make the world a better place.
3. Stay Whimsical
When we’re young, we have vivid imaginations, but over time, reality kills that imagination and turns us into boring, safe adults.
Throughout school my friends and I loved to cut up and be silly. Whatever we did, we wanted to have fun, and we wanted everyone around us to have fun.
Years ago, I was hired for my second non-profit job. The senior director told me, "Mike, I want to push you as far as possible without losing who you are." Translation: He knew I was a fun-loving human being and wanted me to develop into the best version of myself without losing my identity.
Fast-forward thirteen years later, when it was time for me to resign from that job, I had no idea who I was. I had allowed the seriousness of what we were trying to accomplish, as well as all the other cares of life, to crush my spirit, and it took me several years and therapy to let all that go and attempt to find myself again.
Don’t let this happen to you. Of course we need to strive to grow and become better people every day. And there are certainly many times when we need to be serious, but don’t let those times begin to dictate who you are. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Keep or get back your childlike - “whimsical.”
4. Find Your Community
While the spies I watched as a kid mostly worked alone, they had a ton of help in catching the bad guys. As a fourth-grader, I didn’t want to be the sole hero. I had my community or friend group. If I was going to be a detective, I didn’t want to do it alone. I was an only child and knew how lonely that can be.
We were all created to live in a community. Some people happily live alone and never interact with anyone, but they are outliers. God or the Universe has seen fit to surround us with people, so it only makes sense that we find those we enjoy being around.
We may have many different communities throughout our lives, and currently you may be looking for your next one. Keep looking, and don't give up. These days, I can keep up with many of my classmates through the magic of the internet, but I don't get to see them much in person.
I need people around me for support, encouragement, and sometimes help dealing with life. I hope to provide them with the same kind of assistance..
Takeaways
If life has been rough or challenging, remember these life lessons. Remember or create some dreams to give you something to work toward. Don’t give up. The more you strive to make a difference in the world, the less time you have to think about your problems. You will be happier.
Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. Life is too short to stay in that mindset. Have some fun, hold on, and if necessary, regain your sense of humor. Find a community of people you can live with through all of life's good, bad, and ugly.
Also, a true motor-copter is not like I drew for my story.
It is simply another term for a multirotor drone or quadcopter. These aircraft are powered by electric motors, and the term "motor-copter" emphasizes this aspect.
The term lonelyonlychildness is a word I created for this story. Not all only children are lonely. I was, but I am happy for those kids who were not. I have not trademarked this word or any other forms of it, so please feel free to use it at your leisure.
Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. Life is too short to stay in that mindset”