Where Does Our Money Go?
A Reflection on Money, Meaning, and the Mindset That Changes Everything
Where does our money go?
“The drink machine took my money and didn’t give me a drink!”
A frantic teenager blurted this out during a weekend trip I’d taken with a nonprofit group.
I asked what she put in.
“A $20 bill.”
Wait… what? I wanted to ask if this was her first trip away from her parents.
Sometimes we throw our money away without realizing it. At other times, it just seems to vanish.
But we’ve all asked that quiet, persistent question:
Where does my money go?
It’s not just about dollars and cents.
It’s about the emotional weight behind every transaction, every decision, every sacrifice.
We swipe, we spend, we save, we stress.
And sometimes, we stare at our bank account, wondering how it disappeared so fast.
This article isn’t just about budgeting, or even financial advice.
It’s about the deeper story our money tells. What does it say about our values, our fears, our hopes, and the habits we’ve built around survival and success?
Let’s slow down and take a closer look, not at the numbers, but at the meaning behind them.
The Surface-Level Spend
Let’s start with the obvious.
House payments. Rent. Utilities. Clothes. Food.
These are the essentials: the things we plan for, budget for, expect.
But even here, money finds ways to slip through the cracks.
A streaming subscription we forgot to cancel.
An upgrade we didn’t really need.
A convenience fee we didn’t notice until it was too late.
We spend to survive. But we also spend to soothe.
Sometimes we spend money on what we hope will make life feel a little easier, a little more bearable.
My closet is full of crap that I used once, or not at all, and now are dust collectors.
And this is where the surface-level spending becomes more than just numbers.
It becomes a mirror.
The Hustle and the Hope
Then comes the grind.
Jobs
Side hustles
Savings
Borrowing
We chase income.
We chase stability.
We chase freedom.
But sometimes, the chase becomes a trap.
We work harder, not smarter.
We save, but it never feels like enough.
We borrow, hoping tomorrow will be better than today.
There’s hope in the hustle. But there’s also exhaustion. We tell ourselves it’s temporary, that the breakthrough is just around the corner. And maybe it is.
Currently, I have a 9-to-5 job. I also work two nights a week on one side hustle, while I’m building another side hustle to support myself when I’m ready to quit my 9-to-5 job.
In the meantime, we’re tired. We’re stretched thin. We’re measuring our worth by our productivity and our peace by our bank balance.
It’s not about the balance in your account; it’s about the balance in your mind - Anonymous
And as one late, modern-day prophet warned us:
Mo money, mo problems. - The Notorious B.I.G.
This section of the journey is where many of us live: between ambition and anxiety, between striving and surviving. That is absolutely no fun.
The Emotional Toll
Money isn’t just math.
It’s emotion.
Shock
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
We grieve our financial mistakes like we grieve loss. Because in many ways, they are losses: of opportunity, of confidence, of peace.
We feel shame.
We feel fear.
We feel regret.
And yet, we rarely talk about it.
We carry the weight silently, hoping no one notices. We smile through the stress. We pretend we’re fine.
But behind the numbers is a story.
Behind the story is a person.
And that person deserves grace, not guilt.
In my lifetime, I’ve gotten into pretty serious debt - four different times. Each time it took almost acts of God to get me out. Now, it’s easy for me to look back on those times and beat myself like a punching bag in a financial gym.
During those acts of God (or tremendous blessings), how much better would those have been had I not been in debt? Those blessings could have gone for much more productive things than paying off my indebtedness.
That is the tame version. I can’t share my real discussion with myself.
This is the part of the financial journey that’s hardest to measure, but it’s often the most important to heal.
The Scramble to Fix It
Debt consolidation.
Better jobs.
Yard sales.
Cutting spending.
When the pressure builds, we scramble.
We try everything.
We get creative.
We get desperate.
We look for quick wins: anything to relieve the tension, to feel like we’re making progress.
And sometimes, those quick wins help. But often, they’re just temporary relief.
What we really need isn’t just another tactic. We need a mindset shift. A shift from panic to purpose. From reaction to reflection. From fixing symptoms to addressing the root.
Because when we change how we think about money, we change how we feel about money. And that’s where real transformation begins.
The Simpler Path
Thrift stores
Generic groceries
Staying home
Saying “No”
These aren’t budget moves. They’re boundary moves. They’re quiet decisions that say, “I’m choosing peace over pressure.” They’re small shifts that reclaim control one choice at a time.
Living within our means isn’t about deprivation. It’s about intention. It’s about choosing what matters most and letting go of what doesn’t.
When we stop chasing, we start choosing. And in that choosing, we find freedom. This is not just financial, but also emotional and spiritual.
The simpler path isn’t always easy. But it’s often the most honest. And it’s always available.
Final Thought
And still, the question lingers: Where does my money go?
Sometimes, we truly don’t know. But asking the question is the first step toward clarity. Toward peace. Toward a life that’s disgustingly simple, and beautifully intentional.
You don’t have to have all the answers today. But you can start asking better questions. You can start making decisions that reflect your values, not just your impulses, habits, or pressures.
So here’s your invitation:
Take one step.
Make one choice.
Start one conversation.
And let that be the beginning of a financial life that feels less frantic and far more free.
Great article!