Why Habits Matter
What kind of person do you want to be?
Luke loved Laura. Their relationship was complicated, controversial, and anything but ordinary.
After Laura’s life was threatened by the mob, Luke helped her escape. While they were on the run together, she eventually fell in love with him.
Their journey later crossed paths with an international agent named Robert Scorpio, and the three found themselves in an adventure so outrageous it sounds made up.
Together, they battled villains, chased a mysterious diamond known as the Ice Princess, and ultimately saved Port Charles from disaster.
Some would say they saved the world.
I had a front-row seat for every bit of it.
Beginning in 1979, I rushed home from school each day to watch General Hospital. If you’re old enough to remember Luke and Laura, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.
Their storyline became one of the most popular in television history and helped turn a struggling soap opera into a cultural phenomenon.
But this essay isn’t about soap operas.
It’s about habits.
Watching General Hospital became one of my habits. Looking back, it was probably a guilty pleasure.
The storylines were far more exciting than the soap operas my aunt watched when I was a child, and before long, I had built part of my day around finding out what would happen next.
Fortunately, I eventually broke that habit. I knew I didn’t want to spend years investing my afternoons in soap operas.
So I began replacing that habit with another one. I started reading books. What had once been entertainment gradually became learning.
Looking back, that change taught me something important:
Habits matter because they are one of the few ways we can intentionally participate in becoming the person we want to be.
Habits Matter Because They Remind Us We Have a Choice.
The world presents us with circumstances, temptations, routines, and expectations.
Habits remind us that we are not merely products of those things.
For a season of my life, I worked for a nonprofit organization. I had become so comfortable in my routine that I never seriously considered other opportunities.
In my mind, the choice had already been made.
Then one day another opportunity appeared.
I was going to dismiss it immediately.
My wife listened for a while and then said something that changed my thinking:
What is wrong with honestly considering it?
Looking back, that conversation wasn’t really about a job opportunity.
It was about a choice.
Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that I had one.
Many habits work the same way. We repeat a behavior so often that it begins to feel inevitable. We stop choosing it consciously and start assuming it is simply who we are.
But habits can remind us of something important:
We can choose.
We can choose differently.
We can choose again tomorrow.
The first gift of a habit is not discipline. It’s awareness.
It reminds us that our lives are not entirely determined by our circumstances.
We still have choices.
Habits Matter Because Our Choices Matter
Having a choice is important, but it is only the beginning.
Our choices matter because they shape reality.
A single choice may seem insignificant. One walk. One dollar saved. One page read. One encouraging word.
By themselves, those choices don’t seem powerful.
But repeated choices create results, and results create futures.
The future is often hidden inside today’s routines.
One area of struggle for me has been finances.
Let me make a confession.
Many of the ideas I share in these essays come from lessons I’ve learned the hard way. I want you to make good decisions because I have made so many bad ones.
I’m human just like you, which means that when I write these essays, I’m often speaking to myself as much as anyone else.
During my adult life, I have been in debt four different times. That’s not something I enjoy admitting.
Each time, I experienced blessings that helped me escape the debt, including opportunities like the sale of a house that allowed me to pay everything off.
But the real issue wasn’t the debt.
The real issue was the habit.
Too often, I developed the habit of spending more money than I earned.
A friend of mine used to repeat a very old saying:
“If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall.”
That simple statement explains a truth I spent years learning.
My debt didn’t appear overnight. It was built one decision at a time.
Likewise, financial freedom won’t appear overnight. It will be built one decision at a time.
Every time I spend less than I earn, reality changes.
Every time I save instead of spend, reality changes.
Every time I choose contentment over consumption, reality changes.
That’s why habits matter.
Habits Matter Because Our Choices Change Us
Our choices are not just affecting today. They are quietly creating tomorrow.
But habits do something even more than change our circumstances.
They change us.
At first, we make a choice.
Then we make the same choice again. And again.
Eventually, what began as a decision becomes a habit.
Over time, the habit becomes part of our character.
And before we realize it, people stop describing what we do and begin describing who we are.
Consider Stephen Curry.
Most people know him as one of the greatest shooters in basketball history.
What they may not realize is how many shots are taken when nobody is watching.
Curry’s coaches have described workouts involving hundreds of shots, often ending with another 100 three-point shots.
His training routines frequently include hundreds of repetitions designed to make difficult shots feel natural.
At first, shooting was something Steph Curry did.
Then shooting became a habit.
Eventually, shooting became part of who he was.
People don’t say what he does:
Steph Curry practices shooting.
They say who he is:
“Steph Curry is a shooter.”
The same thing happens in our lives.
Kind people are usually people who have repeatedly chosen kindness.
Generous people are usually people who have repeatedly chosen generosity.
Readers are usually people who have repeatedly chosen to read.
Savers are usually people who have repeatedly chosen to save.
At first, these are actions.
Eventually, they become identity.
We often think character appears all at once.
More often, character is built one small choice at a time.
We become what we repeatedly choose.
Choose courage enough times, and eventually it becomes part of who you are.
Choose patience enough times, and eventually it becomes part of who you are.
Choose wisdom enough times, and eventually it becomes part of who you are.
Choose it enough times, and eventually it becomes part of who you are.
Conclusion
Most of us spend our lives looking for big breakthroughs.
But our lives are usually shaped by small decisions repeated over time.
A page read.
A dollar saved.
A walk taken.
A kindness offered.
A truth spoken.
These choices may seem small today, but they are quietly creating tomorrow and shaping the person we are becoming.
That’s why habits matter.
Every habit begins as a decision.
Every repeated decision becomes a pattern.
Every pattern shapes the person we are becoming.
Habits are one of the few ways we can intentionally participate in becoming the person we want to be.
I too was in the habit of watching GH everyday and putting way too much thought and focus on it. I only stopped when I became a Mom. Great message about habits. Appreciate you and the thoughts you share!